So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
did i just pee glitter
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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