what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize