You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
so much tequila, so little girl.
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