I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
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