I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize