I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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