I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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