His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
