what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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