theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
