so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize