I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
