So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
