She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
