I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
