I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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