i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize