Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
