WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
