So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
