OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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