There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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