So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
