We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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