His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
