The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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