Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I AM VODKA MAN
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
