Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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