Pappa wants mamma naked
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
