If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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