Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
