dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
