it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
