I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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