Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
