i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
