found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
