fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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