if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
