I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
