omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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