porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize