Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
