Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
