i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
