hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
