Small penises have feelings too.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize