Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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