It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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