I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
