think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
When did angry sex become our thing?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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