Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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