Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
