Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
