There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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