Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
