fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
