We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
