Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
