you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
