TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
