Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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