The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
