Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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