whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
