i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
